Well...Hello Stranger!

Wow!  Can we say it has been a LOOOONG time since I've posted?  Let's see...the last post was in March before we had Jenna and it is now...um...OCTOBER!  Sorry, sorry...guess I'm not very good at this blogging thing.  I really don't make as much time for it as I could.  Let's just say I've been BUSY! 

So, where do I begin?  We had Jenna on April 20th of 2010.  That is a LONG story.  Long story short, my due date was April 16th and she never came.  I was having contractions all the time, but not much progression.  We scheduled the induction for Tuesday, April 20th because I really didn't want to have my baby on the same day as the Oklahoma City bombing.  A lot of people told me it would have been a beautiful day either way and even if I would have done it on April 19th, God would have used a day that meant death to some, to bring light and life into the world through Jenna.  Anyway, we decided on the 20th. 

I had a hard time grasping the concept of induction only because I guess in my heart and mind I felt like I was forcing something that I felt should happen naturally.  I really, really struggled with it internally.  We had friends calling us every day, "Is she here yet? Are you at the hospital? Is Wendy in labor?" and the more they called, the more it stressed me out.  Everywhere we went, everyone asked, "When are you due? What was your due date? Are you having contractions? How are you feeling?" and it was so hard telling everyone that the due date had passed and everyone was looking at us like they were waiting for me to burst and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore!  I didn't understand why Jenna was taking so long, I figured once we scheduled the induction, she would come right out, just like Isaac did.  We scheduled an induction for February 2nd with him and he was like, "Nuh uh! 'Ain't nobody tellin' ME when to come out!" and he came the very next day (January 28th) after we scheduled the induction and my water broke with him.  I guess I was just expecting the experience to be the same with Jenna...I was just waiting for the big event to happen and it never did.  I would stand in Jenna's room and cry in the middle of night and look into her crib and try to imagine her being there and it made me so sad that she just wouldn't get here! 

On the other side of the spectrum, I was interally in anguish in my heart thinking that this would probably be my last pregnancy and the last time I would feel a baby inside me and I didn't want her to leave my body.  It was the worst internal heart battle I have ever experienced and I could honestly say it was excruciating.  I don't know if any other Mommy's out there have ever felt the same way or can relate to or understand me.  My soul was literally in agony in those last few days.  Part of me wanted the pregnancy to be over because I was physically in pain and was just ready for some relief for my back and my bones and muscles.  I was also concerned that the longer she stayed inside, the bigger she would get and then I would have to have a C-section.  I didn't have to have one with Isaac and I didn't want to have one with Jenna although I knew that any way they got her out, as long as we were both safe and healthy, it would be fine. 

So, I did what I usually do in situations where my soul is torn and I called my sister Chantel.  I told her my fears and concerns about inducing and she eased all of my worries.  By the time I got off the phone with her, I let my husband know that I wanted to go ahead with the induction because we were about to cancel it and call the whole thing off and just let Jenna come when she was good and ready.  So, we went ahead with it.  It actually turned out great and a lot easier because we could plan for Isaac's care while I was in the hospital.  I could pack Isaac's bag and food and bathtime and bedtime "supplies" and prepare and relax and take care of everything the night before.  When the "event" happens fast, you don't have time to do all that packing and planning.  So, I actually really liked the idea of it being "scheduled" after that.  We were able to leave Isaac with my in-laws for his first-ever overnight stay without us and we went home and watched the video of Isaac's birth just in case it would help Jenna along on that final night.  I had contractions all night, but still no baby...

Wow...I could write all day...I really, really want to finish this story, but I think I will save Jenna's actual birth day for a seperate post so this one isn't so long...so....so long, farewell!